Riding the Chinese Rails
The crowd jostling against each other in the halls of Tianjin’s large and dingy temporary station were good-humored despite the grimy environs. Trains were running on time and people were getting to where they needed to be. Suddenly a woman next to me started shouting frantically. You could hear the rising panic in her voice but eventually a man responded and was given a very public “earful” for having gone off with the tickets for both of them. He (I took him to be her husband) was embarrassed and tried to move away, but there was for a length of time, no let up, despite his reassurances. He did not respond in kind, but he clearly wanted this over. Finally, she calmed down and the two were reabsorbed by the anonymous crowds waiting for the train to Beijing.
One fast and efficient train journey later, I saw them heading for the exit. They were holding hands and talking, not as young lovers might, but as one hears many married couples talking in semi public contexts. By that I mean every topic, the weather, the mortgage or what they were going to have for dinner weaving in and out of .one another all on the same relaxed tone. What caught my attention was the ease of manner between them and the holding of hands, when barely sixty minutes earlier, all was fireworks. There was no trace of it now, instead a simple and rather moving picture of what I took to be an established married couple still able to link hands in public, all traces of earlier frictions forgotten. The difference an hour can make!
I found the transformation remarkable. If the idiot husband had behaved so badly then, how could he be so quickly forgiven now? If the panicky wife had berated him so publicly then, how could she so easily restored to grace? There cannot, have been a resolution of issues, she is going to panic again, and he is going to be thoughtless again and yet it seemed that all that mattered was to be linking arms and talking the small talk of every couple on the way out of Beijing station.
Watching, I felt I was being given a lesson on love. Love is an applied science, and we, (celibates that is), speak about it in such theoretical terms, that it can loose its connection with the earthly context in which that love has to be lived, especially in that terra incognita which is an unfolding marriage relationship. In a marriage, or in any relationship of love, many issues don’t get resolved, but if mutual love exits, it’s still possible to link arms and give the honest impression of being a happy couple, even if you still think he is a twit for going off like that or that she really needs to stop panicking at the smallest thing!
My faith is centered on one who loved enough to die for those He loved, even though we frequently don’t live up to His standards. That degree of forgiveness I find a constant challenge. However, a couple who could set aside the argument of a mere hour earlier and be at peace with one another captured the essence of His action more completely for me than many a homily, even those I have preached myself!
From resentments held onto beyond the moment of experiencing them, especially ones against those I love, Good Lord deliver me. Amen
Such are my prayers as I ride the ever faster and more impressive rails of China.
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